Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Vodka?
Forever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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