I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
