i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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