Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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