So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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