Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
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And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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