Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
