I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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