It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
