I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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