I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
