At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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