I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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