I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
