After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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