just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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