oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
