I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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