my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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