maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
