It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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