I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize