just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I need to wash the frat house off of me
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
