you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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