I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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