Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize