im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
