I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
