Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
