We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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