Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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