It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
