just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
