There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i would punch a child for taco bell
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
