Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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