the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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