; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
