How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize