What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
