Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
