dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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