Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
