I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I need water and some morals
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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