but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
