i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
