I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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