the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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