Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
