Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
