why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
