Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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