32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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