I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
