try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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