i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
