I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
