I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
