I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
