Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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